Five Months

Well my love, I’m still kickin’ it old school out here for you. It’s been 5 months today and I can’t lie…I want you physically here with me still. I probably always will. I do however want to tell you something.

Erik David McFarlane you gave me a love that I never knew existed or was possible. From the moment we met, I laid myself bare to you via words – all the things that brought me to you and your smile. All the choices, all the rights, and all the wrongs. Two people on opposite sides of a political spectrum but so clearly able to see above and beyond that. You accepted me as I was.

Through 8 1/2 years, you and I laughed every day. You made dealing with the absurdities of this life absolutely bearable. Every silly moment, and funny turn of phrase you uttered is forever catalogued in my memory. We showed people from two different sides of the aisle could make it work and made it work beautifully. You were the yin to my yang and I was the cream in your coffee.

Your flaws, mistakes and missteps in this life were nothing to me because they made you the complicated person you were and you knew I loved a good mystery. I love you still and your love allowed me to love myself unconditionally. To not have to please everyone all of the time…and to be the weird little/big woman that I was, through your eyes rather than my own filtered lenses of self-judgment and otherwise, taught me how to truly be me. In your incredible yet too short for my tastes life, you gave me more than I could ever give back to you…so now I give it back to our friends.

I wake up now knowing that your love set me free. Your love fuels my desire to live every precious moment of this one life I was given and everything I do now for me is a reflection of that love. I’m showing up Erik, and I’m living this one wildly precious life with a wink and a nod to the energy of you that surrounds me. I carry your heart in my heart and honey, we have some incredible things to do and to see.