I’m getting really inspired to truly get back into cooking! I love to cook, or I’ve loved to cook in the past. I’m actually quite good at it but never ask me to bake anything. I mean I can, but I’m not really good at it. As most cooks/vs/bakers will tell you the whole art comes down to whether you prefer to work within improvisation or you prefer to really stick to the script.
Baking is to me a science (or artistic culinary science). To be successful you have to be pretty exact, your measurements must be on-point and your timing, temperature and otherwise really don’t have much wiggle room. I yearn for that level of exactness but I’m more of a free spirit in the kitchen. Cooking to me is like a great jazz jam. You have all the important elements present and you put things together that just work or you tweak them in process and just let it roll. Sometimes it’s magic, sometimes it’s eh but most times its fun and your tummy is rewarded at least. In fact I love playing around with flavors but I do have a problem which is why I’m writing this.
Over the past 2 years now I’ve had issues with my taste or palate. It all started with me getting covid and slowly (painfully slowly); regaining some of the taste that I’ve been missing in foods I have loved my whole life. In addition, I’m in perimenopause which apparent brings along not only hormonal changes at affect the bloody baby making female factory but also can affect your tastebuds. Add to that being the daughter of a father who died from complications of Parkinson’s disease which carries a genetic component (more so for the male sex but still possible for me); which can result in loss of scent which 100% affects your tastebuds. Add any or all of these factors which may or may not be contributing to my conundrum but having a different taste quite frankly sucks!
I’ve been working casually on scent re-training as most “scented candles” don’t do it for me any longer and after actually going through some pretty hard depression episodes related to the fact that one of life’s simple pleasures; i.e. eating your favorite meal, no longer has the same impact I’m wanting to actually work on cooking as a way to get myself adjusted. Or readjusted? Or…well I just want to adapt to what my current life situation is I guess.
I find when I casually cook something up, I over-spice or over-season because I’m accounting for the muted sense of taste and smell that I’m working with. I’m sure that it works for my significant other who loves spice and a good kick; but as someone who wants to cook more for their friends and family, I fear that my culinary pursuits may make them say, “I have something else planned,” when I offer the invite for fear it may be overpowering. I know that I’m getting ahead of myself here, but the old adage rings true, “everyone has different tastes,” which actually may reference a bigger life lesson that I am still struggling to learn.
I’m planning on taking a few culinary classes and refreshers over the next months and probably will do on the regular to get me back into the kitchen and get me less fearful of the art. In fact, I’m hoping to enroll (if the cash flow is there to register), in a German cooking class because while although I know how I want to fine-tune and have a refresher and mastery lesson so that I can yearly create a local real German-food/Oktoberfest experience for my nearest and dearest. All this means that I’m going to have to face my fears head on: leaving my house for events which I’ve been reluctant to do with covid for over 2 years, worrying that I won’t love the taste profiles and fearing that I won’t have the skills to kick or tweak the spicing and such enough to get me to where it hits me in the right spot anymore, and realizing that maybe cooking isn’t what makes my soul sing?
Regardless. I have to push forward, because what good is sitting here and just writing about it. I have to try and I have to find what makes my mouth water again both mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sensually again and even though it may not be what it once was I have to evolve with that. In the end I will find it, it’s all just a matter of taste.
If you’re interested in helping me reach my tuition goals, any and all donations are graciously accepted at either my venmo (@TheBlackPantsGirl) or cashapp ($annajustanna). Thanks for reading and supporting always!
THE AMUSED LIFE 
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